Beautiful perfection...

My heart feels led to share this with as many as I can, so I picked all of you since you are special to me.

I met Heather in my mom's group. She recently lost her little boy Carter. But he fought long and hard and touched many. He will continue to do so. Heather has been amazing throughout Carter's life and journey to Heaven, her grace is just beautiful.

I know that she would love for everyone to know Carter. So I wanted to share this with you. It's a picture of Carter's new headstone. It is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful and perfect. The hand and feet imprints were taken on the day he went to Heaven (it was planned after being on life support). Please click on this link to see Carter's new headstone *here*. Please do this, it is hard I know. You won't be disappointed. And if you would like, spend some time reading their story.

Thank you! And a reminder to hug your loved ones so very tight...never miss an opportunity to tell them how much you love them.

Read more...

Happy Easter

Read more...

The Story of Zac Smith

Zac's story was shared with me through Kelly's Korner. His story is heartbreaking. His story is inspiring. I want to pass it along to as many as I can. He has made such an impression on me, and I'm sure many others. Though his time left in our world may be short, Zac is definitely going to be remembered.

While I hope that none of you will ever experience this, you must know that hearing a doctor tell you that you have cancer will turn your world upside down. Everything changes...right then. It's hard to explain and I'm not sure if this happens to all of us when we hear that word, but for me time became so strange. Thoughts and actions seemed to move in slow motion yet at lightning fast speed all at the same time.

One thing that I'm pretty certain about is that all who have to hear those words and face the reality of cancer become very strong and brave. Many people told me that I was strong and brave, which I appreciated because it reminded me that I was exactly that. What I want you all to know is that it wasn't something special that I did. Strong and brave is what everyone who has the experience of cancer is. Everyone.

You find yourself in a new place that is horrible and you don't know how or why you are there. And you are trapped, the entryway is locked behind you. It's like a long hallway with many doors in front of you, doors that you have to open and pass through. You can only move forward through the place and accept whatever is behind each door as you open it. There is no other way. Thankfully there is an end, an exit. Except that you may not realize that. It's true there is an end, and it's different for every person.

Some people are cured and they reach their exit. Some achieve remission but don't reach their exit at the same time, they may have long lasting damage or may have post traumatic stress. Eventually, I hope there is an exit for anyone who has a further walk in this horrible place. And then there are those who sadly aren't cured. They do reach an exit, but I don't know where it is or what it's like. I want to believe that it is a beautiful and peaceful place. A place where only love exists. Where there is only comfort, and we can shed our terribly heavy and sometimes painful bodies. A place that is our true home, with our loving Creator.

That leads me to what I found so inspiring about Zac's story. One way that each of us affected by cancer is different is how we perceive our situations. Though we are all brave and strong in action, our emotions and feelings are totally unique. These feelings will always be with us even when cancer may not. We may be scared, angry, relieved, grateful. I don't think there is a right way or a wrong way to feel. It is our personal feelings, and they are all genuine and true. Zac's life has been turned upside down. He is young and has a family and a purpose. Cancer is stealing all of that away from him and stealing him away from all of that.

Like all of us, Zac has his feelings. He also has faith. A strong and beautiful faith. It is so inspiring. I've never met Zac but I will never forget him. I hope that Zac will make the same impression on you.

The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

Read more...

tim tebow's super bowl commercial...

final (way overdue) update:

first i have to admit that i don't often watch NFL football, i'm an NCAA football girl. this was the first super bowl i've watched in a long time. to me it was a bigger deal because of the new orleans saints playing and of course the curiosity of the much hyped tebow commercial. all that being said...the game was great! the commercial? much ado about nothing in my opinion.

with all of the talk ahead of time i was expecting to see a really serious, conservative, potentially dramatic and football mood ruining commercial. it was none of that, in fact, i thought the commercial was rather cutesy and a bit cheesy. other than promoting a visit to the FOTF website, i didn't see any substance. honestly? it was a huge waste of money! i checked the price to find that super bowl ads typically cost at the least 2.5 million dollars. apparently this ad space was paid for by FOTF, who received generous donations from friends to fund it. very generous friends!

don't you think that money could have been used for the same cause but in a better way? i definitely do. think about all of the organizations out there that help pregnant women who are in unfortunate situations. what about the many couples who would love to adopt, but find it unattainable because of the high costs? or how about the many orphans in our country and abroad? surely that hefty amount of money could have helped many and still promoted the message of life.

i'm still a fan of the tebow family. i'm still not a fan of FOTF. and i believe that all in all, the much hyped, very expensive ad was a big fail. i can only hope that like i previously wrote, the message helped even one woman to have the courage to have a baby that they otherwise felt too scared or overwhelmed to have.

i'd like to know about your thoughts. do you think that any good was accomplished by the commercial?

update:

after chatting about this on facebook, i now see that part of the big deal is the lack of consistency when it comes to what will be aired or not. apparently, there were other commercials in super bowl's past that never made it to tv-i guess they were more liberal in nature. i will say that i do disagree with that. if the network is going to air a potentially controversial commercial then they shouldn't "pick and choose" when it comes to freedom of speech. because we're all created equal right? and i do admit that the super bowl is really not the time that anyone wants to think about heavy topics. though i do support this commerical, i hope that in the future "the platform" will be more equal. oh, and i'm not really a fan of FOTF-for whatever that's worth.

original post:

i would have completely missed this if not for my bloggy friend anemone pie. so i'm glad she posted about this. apparently there's quite the controversy over a commercial set to air during the super bowl with tim tebow. in summary, he is spreading the message about choosing "life". apparently his own mother was ill during her pregnancy with tim and was advised to terminate the pregnancy. she chose to continue the pregnancy and thankfully gave birth to a healthy baby. you can read more about it *here*.

as you know, i am a huge gator fan and i adore tim tebow...not just as a football player but as a person. in the years he spent playing for UF, he never disappointed. and he doesn't just "talk the talk" he also appears to "walk the walk". that is important to me!

i am also a believer in choice. a strong believer in choice. but to *me* choice doesn't just equal one option. it encompasses all options. the topic is a very passionate one and everyone has their own passionate views. i really don't think a commercial will change many views, even if it's from tim tebow.

BUT... if his message will help even one woman to have the courage to have a baby that they otherwise felt too scared or overwhelmed to have...i think that's a great thing!

no need to cause a big ruckus about the commercial, in my tim tebow loving, pro-choice mind. =)

Read more...

so about the camera...

i was in a bit of a rush with my last post. and in my excitement, the full story hadn't yet pieced itself together in my mind. ok, i think there is a little something more to, i found my camera. perhaps i had help. maybe it was divine intervention. let's see what you think...

the camera was last seen on christmas. at my parent's house where we celebrated. all of our presents and things were packed up and brought home (just a mile away). when i went to upload pictures in the following days, i noticed the camera was missing. we looked for it, however the house was in a state of disarray because we were purging, reorganizing and had a bunch of new stuff all at once. my parent's searched their house with no luck.

a couple weeks ago, i was looking for a few other things for my mom's birthday. gifts for her and one to return. i couldn't find those either. and i looked quite a bit. but in the end, i had enough other gifts that the missing ones wouldn't make too much of a difference. i was thinking they would turn up and be fine for mother's day.

now, i know where i looked for the camera and these missing items. i know where i looked.

fast forward to this week. i am really grieving the loss of the camera. the pictures from christmas and also knowing bethany's birthday party is coming up. i know that i can not figure out the new camera in time (canon rebel xti-see why i'm panicked?). i drive mr. h and my dad crazy to make sure there will be a camera to capture the birthday party. i even resort to mr. h buying a disposable camera.

a day or so ago i start price comparing new point and shoot cameras. but i don't buy one.

today...while wrapping bethany's presents, i realize i need more tissue paper and i go to the normal spot to get it. on top of the normal spot is a box. i open the box and there is my camera in it's case along with with the missing gifts for my mom. that's all that's in the box.

what's the big deal you ask?

that box was never at my parents house. it has been sitting in the same spot since before christmas. it was in no way moved during the process of putting our house back together. and i know that i have looked in that box...atleast twice before...and the box sitting under it.

the missing things were NOT there. i know they weren't there. i looked. atleast twice. maybe more. and.they.were.not.there.

the day of bethany's party, when i'm particularly distraught over it...the camera magically appears. hmmm...

mr. h thinks that perhaps my grandpa roger found it for me. the grandpa that passed away last year. i think back to a recent dream i had about him, which is a whole other story, and i think mr. h might be right. maybe it wasn't him. but i sure know that it wasn't any of us and that camera was not there before.

so that's the story of my found camera. and i offered up a silent thank you to whoever found my camera for me. =)

Read more...

my spiritual journey...

i had mentioned a while back that i wanted to share a bit about my spirituality. so this will be a start and i'll try not to get too deep. i am a christian, though not likely a traditional christian. my parents and daughters are active participants in the lutheran church (LCMS). mr. h and i are not. mr. h and i are also not really on the same page in our beliefs, but then again sometimes we are. church, i've found, is not quite for me. or at least i haven't found the right church for me. that being said, i still very much have a relationship with God. i pray daily, most often, several times a day. still, i have many questions and often doubts. as a whole though, i try to follow the path that resonates within me.

my journey started when i was a young teenager. then it sort of hit the back burner for a decade or so. as an adult i picked up where i left off trying to learn and grow in my faith. when i had the opportunity to stare death in the face three years ago-i really started to search deeper. a lot of my searching was driven by what felt right and made sense to me. there are some who disagree with that direction and will tell me that it's not at all about how i feel or what i think. that it is only about God's way and more or less my feelings don't matter. but i haven't been able to just accept this as the complete and whole truth. so i continue on. in my studies i have found some of the answers that i've been searching for. here i will admit that not all of the information i've found has come from the Bible. in fact the Bible is a whole topic unto itself that i won't address here and now.

spiritually i feel very open and accepting of all faiths. the one thing that does bother me, or really i should say-kind of "hurts" me from christians is that as monotheistic believers some refuse to believe that our one God with whom *anything* is possible could choose different routes to reach people. this is God we're talking about...how could that not be possible? especially when i consider that we are all God's children, divine sparks of a great entity that i can not even begin to fathom. that is the one thing that will really end a conversation on my part with anyone pretty quickly. you see, if they can't believe that with God all things are possible, then my little words aren't going to reach them at all. so when it comes to that i see intolerance. intolerance is one thing that i am absolutely intolerant of myself-which is yet another whole topic alone.

i certainly don't know it all, never will and probably won't even know a significant amount of the greatness of our Lord. but i am a big believer in "coexisting", it goes way beyond a slogan on a t-shirt. i have to go with what feels right in my heart, my mind and my spirit and also what makes sense out of the little bit i can actually grasp. i think of "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world", we ARE ALL those children of the world. and i definitely feel that goes beyond whatever religion we claim.

to summarize how i feel and so far what i have found to be the correct path, i again turn to Jesus who stated "A new commandment I give unto you; that you love God with all your heart and soul and mind, and you love your neighbor as yourself". this is how i try to live every day. as words it seems so simple but as actions, i do mess it up often. it disappoints me, but all i can do is recognize my mistake, attempt to correct it, ask for forgiveness and try again.

Read more...

can we talk?

at this point my camera is still missing in action. but i do promise to share our christmas pictures...soon!



while we wait, i'd like to ask a question. please know that i'm not trying to be controversial. the question is about Jesus and something i learned this year. i'm writing this to ask for your input. i do hope to write quite a bit about my journey of spirituality in the coming new year. but this post, again is a question that is on my mind, and i am having a hard time finding people willing to talk about this or explain it to me. i will admit that my journey of spirituality has led me down some non-traditional paths. but most importantly i do believe in Jesus and that he is the Savior who has saved a wretch even like me.

my absolute favorite day of the year is christmas eve. i absolutely love the feeling of magic and anticipation of that night. awaiting santa's arrival. and imagining the what it was like when Jesus was born. i go outside on christmas eve night and look into the sky seeing the brightest star which i imagine is the star of bethlehem. i imagine the three wisemen on their journey to meet this new child, our Savior.

it all plays beautifully in my head, until now, where the magical music is interrupted by a scratch from the record player. (you do remember those right?). i learned something this season that i didn't know and had never heard before in my 35 years. that Jesus possibly, probably, was not born on christmas. i don't remember where i first read about this but i did and in fact read it in several different places.

not wanting to believe this, i did a little online research and apparently it is true that many theologians believe that Jesus was likely not born on christmas but rather sometime in the spring. the church at the time apparently picked the date to correspond with the timing of the winter solstice. i have heard that many of our christian traditions are somewhat based on older pagan traditions. and that doesn't bother me at all.

but for some reason, the thought that Jesus was possibly not born on christmas does bother me. it's called "Christ" "mas" and how often have we heard "He is the reason for the season"...not too mention all of the beautiful christmas carols that sing of the birth of this child and give the impression of a wintery season. maybe this shouldn't trouble me at all, Jesus was born and we should celebrate that-of course. i will admit though that this past christmas eve, it was different for me. and i really was sad about this.

what do you believe? does this make anyone else sad? or should it not matter at all? looking forward to your thoughts about this.

Read more...

He is risen!

Read more...