>> Friday, February 8, 2013


Is there anybody in there?

Just nod if you can hear me

Is there anyone home?

Well...here I am again. What, going on 3 years since my last post? I'll admit it was dusty and cobwebs were everywhere in here!

Surely I owe y'all an explanation of where I've been, why I've not blogged...at all! And how I find myself here tonight. Er, this morning. I keep vampire hours these days not sure why.

But first I wanted to know if anyone still was actually around? If you are please leave a comment, even a wow! and that's all. Or you can chat, that's fine too.

I arrived here, not knowing if I could even find the way and did get lost a couple times. But I made it, and it was one place that I knew I could check a linkable button. Yep, I made one and it works!

So if anyone's still around, I'll be back and try to give a somewhat wrap up of a whole lot of time. Reading one of my last posts, Kelley and Bethany were finishing 4th and 6th grade. Now they are halfway through 8th and 6th grade. And oh mercy, we are in the midst of tween/teenage years around here.

More later!



And the beat goes on...

>> Sunday, May 15, 2011

Y'all know that I'm not great about blogging anymore. There was a request for an update, and quite frankly I was tired of seeing "Bad Season" when I left blog comments for others. So a mini-update, kind of. It's late, so it will be short.

Honestly, that "Bad Season" has continued and gotten more and more complicated. I'm unsure if I should ride out the storm or grab my girls' hands (and somehow a bunch of paws) and jump ship. It's a debate in my mind daily.

I try to keep all the anger and ugliness on the down low. But like I've mentioned the girls are observant and there's no keeping secrets from them. Plus their lives have changed a bit. It's been a tough adjustment for them, but they are doing well.

When I see them my goal is communication...how was their day? How are their friends? We talk a little about boys (yikes!). Most of all I make sure to tell them I love them as many times as I can. Oh and laughing, the day is a success if we laugh. Let me tell you that it's not always as easy as it seems when you have a preteen going through life's changes. She knows what is happening. But some of the changes are in the mind, the way she thinks and feels, it's hard to prepare for that. We manage though. Bethany is a little chatter-box with a sensitive laugh button. Man that girl is funny! Kelley is more mature, so the girly-giggles aren't as freely flowing as they used to be. She does have a great sense of humor though, there is definitely laughter. Just the way I love it.

Our family does have *big* changes coming soon. Changes that are *good* and that remind us how very *blessed* we are. I'll be sharing that soon, with lots of blogging to follow I'm sure, during an upcoming "Good Season"!

First we need to get through the next 3 1/2 weeks left of school. I think that's all that's left. I can't hardly believe it, 4th grade and 6th grade are so close to being over and out!


Bad Season

>> Friday, March 11, 2011

Seems that I start all of my posts with something like..."I've been a bad blogger" or "It's been awhile" and this one is no different in that sense. My blogging has all but ceased with an exception here or there. It's not that I don't want to write, I do. And it's not that I have nothing to share, I do. So what's the problem?

Here's where I'll be straight up and tell you that I am struggling. My family is struggling. Life is a struggle. I don't want to write about something that will leave people reading with a sense of blah. That's no fun. The many blogs I read usually leave me with a smile or even a laugh out loud. Once in awhile there is something sad that's happened and I cry along with them. But in those cases, something sad has happened...a loss or an illness. I'm fortunate that I've not had anything like that occur in a while. I'm so very thankful for that. No, the struggles we are experiencing are not life and death. Some do affect our lives in big ways and some in not so big ways. In fact the smaller things would probably not be as bad if the big things weren't happening.

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer.

I do want to be real.

In order to be real I may have to be a Debbie.

For a while I thought that the hard times we are experiencing were just a season. The season would pass and change. Starting fresh and anew. So I've waited. Trying to keep a positive outlook. I've prayed, I do that a lot. Riding this wave and waiting to reach the shore but I just can't get there.

It reminds me of a day at the beach as a kid...my friend and I were holding onto a raft and floating wherever the water took us. We didn't realize that instead of bringing us back to the shore, the currents were taking us out into the sea. It wasn't until our parents noticed and yelled and waved at us that we realized how far away we were. Trying not to panic we kicked our legs trying to power our raft back to shallow waters. It didn't work very well. We kicked and kicked and maybe started to panic. By this point I think everyone on the beach was aware of what was happening but all they did was watch us. Maybe that's all they could do. Nobody swam to us. Eventually we did make it back, exhausted. Right now I'm on that raft and fighting the currents to get back to safety and normalcy. I know that others can see and they are worried. But they can't swim out to guide me back.

Keeping it real, I have to admit that I'm angry. Angry that this bad season didn't start with anything I had done. Angry that I am recovering from a seriously bad season already. Throwing a temper fit in my mind (usually) that enough is enough. I have been through serious struggles and had enough. It's not fair. This isn't my fault. Look at this mess we're in. I'm not cleaning it up. And on and on.

Then I realize that I shouldn't be so childish. I am blessed in many ways. Maybe I didn't cause the problems but they are still mine to help solve. That's another part of the problem, I can't solve it. Sure there are some things that I can do but ultimately a lot of it is completely out of my control. That's when the anger and pity party turns to fear. Something has to give. It's not just me or my husband, it's my girls. At what point does this begin to affect them? I can try to shield them and protect them. Life as usual. But they are smart and observant and they know that things aren't as they should be. Then the fear turns to sadness. My girls are my life. I want the best for them in all ways, all the time. They've been through a horrible season already. A season of not knowing what was going to happen to me. Life turned completely upside down for them. But they are also strong and faithful. So there's that. But again enough is enough.

So what is this bad season we're experiencing? Mostly it's unemployment. Mr. H hasn't worked since June of last year. In the beginning I let it go and let him just be. I'm sure he needed to grieve. He didn't just lose his job, it was a bit more than that. He could potentially lose his license, after all this time he still doesn't know what that outcome will be. I have to throw in a disclaimer, he didn't do anything horribly wrong. He stood up for a patient who was not able to get the care he needed because of insurance paperwork. His patient was sick and after hours of treatment being delayed, Mr. H found a way to get his treatment and the patient was alright. Unfortunately Mr. H's employer didn't back him up and terminated him. To add insult to injury they reported him to board and his case has not been resolved. I truly feel that the state will find in his favor, but not knowing is awful. It also has interfered with his schooling as he intends to pursue further licensure but with his current license status up in the air he feels stuck. His ability to work is not affected but the career that I always felt was recession proof has shown to not be so. The jobs are just not available.

What started as grieving has probably turned into depression. And when one person in the family is down and out it tends to affect us all. Arguments happen, blame happens, teamwork is disrupted. Then add in things like loss of medical insurance (my recovery includes the need for many medications, expensive medications) and financial difficulties...it's just a big mess. There seems to be no end in sight.

So that is where we are right now. Again I didn't want to share all of this because it's not positive or pleasant or entertaining. But it's real and I'm real. I intend on sharing more but I promise to not just dwell on the negative. The truth is that despite this season...I am blessed. We are blessed. I definitely hope that things will change soon and that in the meantime we will try to keep the girl's lives as usual the best we can.


I'm back...with a Friday confession

>> Thursday, February 17, 2011

So I thought I'd share a Friday confession...it will certainly be pleasing to my eyes and maybe to yours as well!

Do you have a top ten list? Famous men (or women) you find attractive? Not sure that I've always had ten on the list but I have definitely always had a list.

No biggy right?

Well my list is changing and I'm noticing a trend...the men are getting...well...older.

Here's a peek at some of my current main men:

Hugh Laurie

Jon Stewart

Dr. Drew

Rahm Emanuel

Should I be concerned? Does this mean I'm getting older? Even Brad Pitt is getting older right? Though he didn't make my list. There are others of course like...

Robert Downey Jr.

But he's not actually very young either is he?

Who's on your list? Any confessions?



>> Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Wow. It occurred to me tonight that I have been a complete blogging deadbeat. Not that life has been so entirely thrilling and there is much to be shared. But I do love reading blogs and know that I miss y'all when you're not updating as often. My blog reading habit could be part of why I've been such a deadbeat, I can barely keep up with all the blogs in my reader. Sorry that I haven't been commenting as often as well, it's not you-it's definitely me!

So...I'm trying to think of what's been happening. The biggest thing has been sending Kelley and Bethany back to school. Most years it seems like I am totally ready for school to start (bad mommy!). This summer though...not so much. I truly enjoyed having the girls home!

They had some super busy weeks thanks to their Papa for planning lots of activities and taking them on their annual vacation. This year the girls went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee with Mammie and Papa and had a great time! Here are a couple pics they sent...

The rest of their time was spent swimming, staying up late (really late some nights) and actually sleeping in. We had a lot of fun just hanging out.

School started this past Monday. Bethany is in 4th grade and so far seems to be loving it! Her teacher is new to the area and seems really nice and one of her neighbor friends is in class with her. Kelley started 6th grade, and I'm still having trouble accepting that my baby girl is in middle school now. She's not been too thrilled with it either so far. I think it's because her best friend isn't in any of her classes. They were together in grades 3, 4 and 5, and Kelley really didn't invest herself much into making other friendships. Hopefully she'll meet some new friends in her classes soon and her outlook will change.

And that about wraps up the excitement here. Yep, not much! I've been reading like a mad woman, it's been a great season for reading with both a new Sookie Stackhouse and Stephanie Plum book out! We are also doing work around the house-trying to purge and purge some more since it seems we aren't going to be moving anytime soon. Boo to that! Once we get done with that we'll be doing some more exciting stuff like new flooring, paint and furniture.

I'll leave you with this funny. The news is old, but what is so funny about it is that apparently this is actually the *news* in other countries! Hysterical! But not sure about that shower scene...


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