>> Thursday, November 5, 2009
do you have siblings? were you close with them while growing up? how about now?
me? i'm an only child. as a kid i hated it. it took me many, many hopeful years to realize that brothers and sisters just weren't going to happen. i still am sad about not having a sibling. it was lonely then and it is still lonely now.
being an only child certainly did come with benefits. there was only one of me, so things stretched a little further and i didn't go without. in fact, i usually ended up with the things i wanted. (there are a few things i didn't get that are now inside family jokes). i did get my dream car for my 16th birthday. fortunately my dream car was an old one and less expensive than other cars. if i had wanted a bmw or something like that, i would have been out of luck. my parents felt strongly about being able to send me to college. they both had to work their way through college on their own. had i chosen a traditional wedding, i'm really sure they would have made it a beautiful occasion. so it seems that when they decided to just have me, their life experiences played a big part in it. they wanted to offer me so much opportunity and they did. (thanks mom and dad i love you both so much!)
but at the other end i was the only one with which things were judged. meaning, my parents at a time, thought i was on "the highway to hell". i think that they now maybe realize i was just a normal kid/teen. they just had nothing to compare me against. and really i ended up turning out ok.
my friends all had siblings. and one of my bestest of friends was the middle of three daughters. ever have one of those friends that seemed perfect, the whole family seemed perfect, and you really wanted to be part of that family? yep, that's how i viewed them. i'm really lucky and happy that even now after all of these years, i'm in touch with all three sisters. i know they've had their bumps along the way. but to me they will always be the "perfect family".
fast forward to my family. i definitely wanted three kids, girls, that were fairly close in age. i admit it, i wanted my family to resemble the family of my friend. kelley and bethany are close in age (18 months apart). my hope for them was that they would be instant BFF's. i'll admit that even after all these years (the girls are almost 9 and 10 1/2) i have baby fever like there's been a rabid outbreak. however, having another is not likely to happen. mr. h is just not on board with that idea.
so back to siblings. kelley and bethany. close in age, both girls, the best of friends. right? no. wrong. at best this only lasted through the preschool age when they called each other "sissy" for sister. sometime after that it became a love/hate relationship which it remains to this day. we have issues that i never even dreamed of. not quite to the point of wearing each others clothes without permission, but we're getting there. right now the biggest quarrel involves friends. "but she was my friend first!". if i had a dollar for every time i've heard that...
i do anticipate (hope) that this will change next year. this will be the first time in four years that they will be attending different schools, different busses (and if they had their way, living in different states). we also are anticipating the possibility for them to have their own rooms in the coming future. yes, maybe this will all help.
remember the stories of our grandparents and great-grandparents "when i was your age, i had to walk ten miles to school, uphill, in snow, with hand me down shoes"? here it sounds more like "when i was your age, i didn't have a sister to play with and be friends with. it was lonely. when i played board games, i had to play the left hand against the right hand"!
*sigh* if only they realized how nice it could be to have each other...
My Stick Family from WiddlyTinks.com
p.s. remember "little baby girl" is only part of my dream family. no, i'm not trying to tell you all any news. =)