isn't it ironic, don't ya think? a little too ironic...

>> Wednesday, January 21, 2009

for those of you on facebook-i'm sure you have noticed the tagging going on where you have to share random facts about yourself. as i'm reading about my peculiar...er interesting friends =), i have observed a trend among my awesome friends who have fought in the cancer battling journey.

now i have to throw a disclaimer in here: cancer is a horrible disease, i hate it, it ruins the lives of both those with cancer and their loved ones. there is absolutely nothing funny about cancer. and i'm not intending to make light of the situation.

that being said, when you are faced with crappy cancer-you have to make the best of it. you have to face reality that you might not be around for very long, you are being poisoned with chemotherapy and in some cases like mine even dosed with radiation. it's pretty miserable. but being human...vanity still exists. and it hurts too-especially when you find yourself bald. sometimes the only way to make it through the day is with humor.

a common thought is that cancer makes you sick which makes you skinny. right? wrong! i'm not sure about the treatments for all cancers but blood cancer treatments include very high doses of steroids. lots of them. there goes the hope for a slimmer you. i gained 15 pounds during chemo and was able to lose almost all of that during radiation. unfortunately though the steriods seem to really mess with metabolism. and without something heinous like radiation-it seems darn near impossible to get your body to normal and a comfortably smaller you. combined with some rare damage done to my body i have a problem with fluid retention and improperly draining veins. my upper body is freakishly out of proportion to the rest of me. so NOT cool. you would think that being bald would be enough-but nope bald and puffy. sort of like uncle fester. oh JOY.

so back to the facebook thing...many, many of us have the same complaint. cancer that made us not skinny, but plump. just doesn't really seem fair. for any of us. i do have to share that mr. heather tells me every single day that he only sees beauty in me. isn't that sweet? i don't believe him LOL, but he gets an "A" for effort.

BUT...not everyone is fortunate that i like i have been. i now have a head full of "natural" curls! something i've always wanted. bethany and God get the credit for that. bethany has naturally curly hair and was absolutely devastated when i lost my hair. i told her how much i really, really hoped that my hair would grow back curly just like hers. bethany prayed about it, a lot...and the answer was yes! i could not be more thrilled! though i will admit that i'm a bit unsure how to style my new hair. it was baby fine and ever so slightly wavy before. definitely i welcome any cut, styling and product tips for my new, thick curls.

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