deep thoughts...

i have recently had this sudden big change in thoughts about my way in this world.

maybe it's age, or my experiences over the past couple years or even a sudden rash of unbelievably forward and sometimes just plain mean way people have kind of been to me.

yep all these years i've spent my time and energy kind of going back and forth between blending in and also asserting who i am as a person. it's been a contradiction to the say the least that often left me with an uneasy feeling.

i always thought it was a great thing to be able to blend in with so many groups. i figured it made me well rounded. and i totally love the differences, it is a good thing-when it goes both ways.

so here i am now thinking new thoughts. like maybe instead of trying hard when it's not warranted, i could just be me. and be with myself. kind of an odd thing, but it does seem to be working out ok.