Consulting a wise source about the future. Rowing my little boat down "denial". And who gave permission for my babies to grow up?

>> Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Kelley beautifying herself on her 3rd birthday.

I asked the Magic 8 Ball if this is a sign of things to come in the near future? The answer...

Kelley has a meeting tonight. At the, um, the darn, ugh, the middle school. Her mama is none too pleased about it. Not that there is anything wrong with the, uh, middle school. The problem is that it's middle school! For reasons I'll be sharing with you, I don't think I'm the proper parent for this type of meeting. I really, really, really, hope Mr. H will take her. And he was raised here, he went to the same school, so he knows his way around already! It is best for Kelley. Tonight I'd need to be full of confidence. To stay cool under pressure. To encourage Kelley to be brave. Because middle school is exciting! A big step up from elementary school! A really new and fun and grown up adventure! But me? Nooo. I'm really busy rowing my little boat down "denial".

Yes, my firstborn baby, my sweet little lamb is growing up. She is wrapping up her years at her elementary school. And, I just can't quite seem to accept it. At all. Her Mammie and I used to joke about how we needed to find some sort of "stunt growth juice" every time one of the girls hit yet another milestone. Our search has been unsuccessful. Why exactly do our children have to go and grow up? I mean, I have no problems at all with them staying little. Any age would do. But this growing up stuff? It's going too far.

Kelley is definitely pushing the limits now. Middle school! Hmpf.

I remember when it was time for kindergarten like it was just yesterday. I was in the same little boat rowing down "denial". I didn't want her to start kindergarten. That's a sure way for her to grow up. No lie, I put off enrolling her into kindergarten until about the last minute. I struggled with it. Gosh did I ever struggle. The only thing that helped was when we found out who her teacher was going to be. I knew her, our children attended the same preschool. She's a very sweet person and I did feel that Kelley got the best teacher she could have. But I still didn't get why she had to continue to grow, growing to the point of going to kindergarten.

The first day of school was rough for us. We all went, Mr. H, Bethany, Mammie, Papa, me. Oh and Kelley, too. I was too stressed out to even think of taking a picture of her on the first day of school. But I still remember what she wore. And how tiny she was. Little lamb isn't just tiny, she's the smallest girl in her grade. She was so brave that day. Much braver than I was. I don't even think she cried. Can't speak for the rest of the family. After we got her settled into her classroom, we walked solemnly back to our cars and went our different ways. I didn't dare try to speak, cause that little boat of mine? It was about to capsize.

I drove away and that was pretty hard to do. Bethany was with me and we were on our way to her preschool and my job. This was back in the days when they got along. Bethany called Kelley "sissy". As we were driving, it was quiet. But if you know anything about Bethany, you will know that she and quiet don't happen often. Then she said it "I miss my sissy", and all I could barely choke out was "me too". And then there were tears, not sure which one of us started it but we were having a full blown cry. Not the sweet kind with a little tear here and there. No this was an ugly cry. You know the kind.

We did make it through the first week. And then had Hurricane Charley come to visit that Friday night. As a result, schools were closed the entire next week. So if the first day of Kelley's kindergarten wasn't enough, we had to pretty much start over. By then Kelley knew what school was about and that was when she started to cry.

So here we are with Kelley starting middle school in August. Middle. School. I want to make it stop before it starts. I remember middle school. Kelley is going to be spending her day around kids who are middle schoolers. Some of them are even going to be teens! She's still the tiniest girl in her grade. She's going to have to pass in the halls between classes in a mob of kids. Big kids. Teens!

Think back to your middle school you remember the kind of things that happened? Many boys and girls actually started "going out" or whatever the name is these days for first relationships. Thank goodness Kelley isn't overly interested in boys. Yet. They hold hands and write sappy love notes to each other. They might even have "their song". I'm starting to feel a little woozy. Some have their first real kiss and their first broken hearts.



Allison April 27, 2010 at 6:02 PM  

I dread these days too. It happens all too fast - I still can't believe I have a 2.5 year old most days!

But, I know she'll do great! And you will too! You are a great encouraging mama!

Lysana April 28, 2010 at 12:22 PM  

Oh geez. Put me in that little boat, too. I'm crying just thinking of it!

Lisa Curcio May 3, 2010 at 5:51 PM  

I remember my kids first days of school. Only three of them have gong to school and after this year I will be homeschooling all of them. This way I can live in denial for another 20 years ;)

Hang in there Mama!

tarzan May 3, 2010 at 7:27 PM  

My heart goes out to you Heather.... It is very hard to watch your children grow up and away from you. Just keep in mind as she has grown, you have grown. With that you are both becoming more complete and richer people.

That which stays the same eventually gets stale..... you can rejoice in the knowledge that will never happen with you or your daughter because you're both too special..... love you.

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