10 days into the new decade, and i...

>> Sunday, January 10, 2010

haven't done much. *blush* bad me! ok in fairness it hasn't been 10 days since i came up with my ambitious list for "65 in 365", full of lofty goals. however, the intention is still with me and so for accountability i am checking in and outing myself.

now is where i share my excuses. ok, well really some are valid, while the rest are just plain excuses. i don't like to bring up my cancer experience much on this blog, i try to keep it on the caring bridge site where it belongs. but because it is affecting the here and now i will bring it up. during the diagnosis and treatment process, i tried to be calm, strong and brave. i *think* i did ok with that. there was always a lot of fear about treatments not working or the possibility of a relapse. nowadays i just try not think about it. but i never knew then and am still miffed now at how hard it would be to live after the fact. i didn't count on permanent damage to my heart and the major veins that drain into it. i didn't count on the fact that cancer killing treatments kill healthy things as well leaving behind pain. i didn't count on the fatigue that seems to be everlasting.

it's the fatigue that i offer as my excuse today. to explain i can go out for a day, either a nice calm day or a very long and active day-it doesn't matter. but the next day is always rough, as in feeling like you've been hit by a truck rough. in the weeks and days leading up to christmas i was really busy. christmas eve and day actively busy. and then an out of town trip for new year's. all of this equals a very bad crash. last week the girls went back to school, i had high hopes for accomplishing much. but no, i crashed big time. within a day or two i accepted it for what it was and put all of my big goals away. i saved my energy for doing the necessary things that are needed each day. i am hoping that this coming week will be very different!

i didn't completely ignore my ambitions. in fact, i've done a lot of thinking, planning and really have lots of ideas. we are a family of four plus furbabies living in my used to be "batchelorette" pad. our space is precious, we like to have "stuff" and it's pretty hard to make it work. i truly want a place for everything and everything in it's place. last night i found some great deals on different storage items and can't wait for their arrival. now i have to confess that i don't normally visit walmart. in fact, i try to avoid it. i do browse their site from time to time and found that they are selling various storage bins at what appears to me to be a great deal! $15 to $20 for sets of 6, 10, 12, 14 (!) stackable bins in various sizes. i am sure that in the past i've paid more for these types of things in store. any money i did save though went to shipping costs, to have them sent here as opposed to "site to store". now i would have gone to pick them up, but it was actually the length of delivery time that persuaded me, it was a week or more difference in time. i also found some great deals on amazon for closet hanging shoe racks and clothing shelves, probably not the most sturdy but i'm able to picture a lot of saved space. and i splurged on some super cute magazine type holders from HSN for our important papers. i don't ever watch HSN but after browsing their site-they have lots of cute things! at this point i'm making myself avoid QVC's site. the big downer about HSN is their shipping costs and i actually had shipping deals. way.too.much.

on a positive note you can see that i've changed my blog template. it's not a custom template which is my actual goal. and thanks to the help from hazel nut and kevin & amanda i now have a cute little signature! making it transparent didn't work out, but a little color contrast is good right? =) so there's that. now i just need to go back and add my buttons and other thingies. i sure do wish it was possible to change looks without losing it. at the least though, i did save them all.

with all of this rambling, i'm just trying to say that i'm planning and getting ready to take action! next time i post an accountability check, i hope to have updated my "65 in 365" list.


Team Carter Jay January 10, 2010 at 11:27 PM  

There's always tomorrow to work on your list :). At least that's what I'm telling myself tonight! Your new blog looks great ;)

Lisa Curcio January 11, 2010 at 9:35 AM  

Don't feel bad for taking care of yourself. I crashed big time last week and I have not been through anything like what you have. I have so many goals for this year and I don't even know where to begin. I am hoping to ease back into some sort of schedule this week, who knows if it will happen lol.

I love the new template, very cute! Glad I could help with the signature. I think my background color for my signature is the same color as the background on my blog, so it blends in. The color is nice though, it matches your blog perfectly!

Moderate Means January 11, 2010 at 8:15 PM  

I think you should bring up cancer anywhere you want to. It effects everything. Absolutely everything. I never realized how hard the treatments were and how slow and difficult recovery was until I watched my mom go through it...I think so many of us don't realize what it's like and you sharing this makes us all better support for others.

The organizers sound promising! Hope they arrive soon!

Moderate Means January 12, 2010 at 12:28 AM  

Heather, it's me again :) I gave you a blog award tonight - stop by if you are interested!


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