>> Sunday, January 10, 2010
haven't done much. *blush* bad me! ok in fairness it hasn't been 10 days since i came up with my ambitious list for "65 in 365", full of lofty goals. however, the intention is still with me and so for accountability i am checking in and outing myself.
now is where i share my excuses. ok, well really some are valid, while the rest are just plain excuses. i don't like to bring up my cancer experience much on this blog, i try to keep it on the caring bridge site where it belongs. but because it is affecting the here and now i will bring it up. during the diagnosis and treatment process, i tried to be calm, strong and brave. i *think* i did ok with that. there was always a lot of fear about treatments not working or the possibility of a relapse. nowadays i just try not think about it. but i never knew then and am still miffed now at how hard it would be to live after the fact. i didn't count on permanent damage to my heart and the major veins that drain into it. i didn't count on the fact that cancer killing treatments kill healthy things as well leaving behind pain. i didn't count on the fatigue that seems to be everlasting.
it's the fatigue that i offer as my excuse today. to explain i can go out for a day, either a nice calm day or a very long and active day-it doesn't matter. but the next day is always rough, as in feeling like you've been hit by a truck rough. in the weeks and days leading up to christmas i was really busy. christmas eve and day actively busy. and then an out of town trip for new year's. all of this equals a very bad crash. last week the girls went back to school, i had high hopes for accomplishing much. but no, i crashed big time. within a day or two i accepted it for what it was and put all of my big goals away. i saved my energy for doing the necessary things that are needed each day. i am hoping that this coming week will be very different!
i didn't completely ignore my ambitions. in fact, i've done a lot of thinking, planning and really have lots of ideas. we are a family of four plus furbabies living in my used to be "batchelorette" pad. our space is precious, we like to have "stuff" and it's pretty hard to make it work. i truly want a place for everything and everything in it's place. last night i found some great deals on different storage items and can't wait for their arrival. now i have to confess that i don't normally visit walmart. in fact, i try to avoid it. i do browse their site from time to time and found that they are selling various storage bins at what appears to me to be a great deal! $15 to $20 for sets of 6, 10, 12, 14 (!) stackable bins in various sizes. i am sure that in the past i've paid more for these types of things in store. any money i did save though went to shipping costs, to have them sent here as opposed to "site to store". now i would have gone to pick them up, but it was actually the length of delivery time that persuaded me, it was a week or more difference in time. i also found some great deals on amazon for closet hanging shoe racks and clothing shelves, probably not the most sturdy but i'm able to picture a lot of saved space. and i splurged on some super cute magazine type holders from HSN for our important papers. i don't ever watch HSN but after browsing their site-they have lots of cute things! at this point i'm making myself avoid QVC's site. the big downer about HSN is their shipping costs and i actually had shipping deals. way.too.much.
on a positive note you can see that i've changed my blog template. it's not a custom template which is my actual goal. and thanks to the help from hazel nut and kevin & amanda i now have a cute little signature! making it transparent didn't work out, but a little color contrast is good right? =) so there's that. now i just need to go back and add my buttons and other thingies. i sure do wish it was possible to change looks without losing it. at the least though, i did save them all.
with all of this rambling, i'm just trying to say that i'm planning and getting ready to take action! next time i post an accountability check, i hope to have updated my "65 in 365" list.